Four and a Dog

A blog about family life

Worship

Bruiser worships two things in our house- the biscuit jar and the iPad. If he is denied either of these two things he throws himself to the floor and wails. His performance would not look out of place next to Juliet Stevenson in ‘Truly, Madly, Deeply’. Only in that movie, somebody had died. Last time I checked, no such fate has befallen the biscuit jar or the iPad.

If Bruiser wants a biscuit, he stands next to the kitchen counter, arms stretched high and makes a persistent ‘uh, uh’ noise that increases with volume with the progression of time. Occasionally he throws in the odd foot stamp and then hangs his head with his hand in his mouth and sobs. It truly is a theatrical masterpiece. Distraction occasionally works, as long as no one mentions the ‘b’ word or accidentally walks in the direction of the biscuit jar. Mostly we try to ignore it. Mostly this works.

His reaction to the iPad is only slightly different. This he carries around until he finds a big human to hand it to (I should point out that it is kept in a practically bullet proof case for this very reason). If his chosen big human does not immediately open it, type in a pass code and then find one of his favourite games, he throws himself to the floor, claws at them and the iPad and then throws himself to the floor again. If the wrong game is chosen, he throws himself to the floor and wails. If the right game is chosen but the big human does not play the game for him (I know), he grabs their finger and forces it on to the iPad. If this does not work, he throws himself on to the floor and wails. Generally the iPad spends its day hidden behind cushions and in drawers.

Apparently Diva has taught her younger brother well. Touché, Diva, touché.

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