Four and a Dog

A blog about family life

Archive for the category “Diva Wisdom”

Diva wisdom 6

Because it’s been awhile…

1. A carpark is where all the cars sit and wait for their humans.
2. I like the movie Gate Open (Beethoven).
3. An optopus has 8 legs and can see really well.
4. The Queen has to go to the toilet very quickly.
5. Blublarb is a drink that is fizzy and when you drink it it goes, ‘blu, blu, blu’, until all the bubbles pop. That is what Blublarb is. (This explanation came after Diva mispronounced, ‘rhubarb’ and was not keen on being corrected).
6. Some people might not be able to choose if they have girl babies or boy babies, but I will. I will have two boys and one girl.
7. Ironman is a superhero because he is good at ironing.
8. Sometimes I have choices, but I don’t want choices.
9. Bruiser says he wants some chocolate for us.
10. The moon is coming for a sleepover in the garden. Is that okay?

Diva Wisdom 5

1. I dream about fairies and dinosaurs and rectangles.
2. If my bed was made of glass it would be very delicate and I would have to lie very carefully.
3. I will come dressed as Tangled and everyone else will come dressed as humans.
4. Sometimes I have dreams when I am awake. There is another Avalon and she is dancing.
5. Aeroplanes have wings like a bird but they don’t flap them like a bird.
6. Your arms go through the arm sleeves and your head goes through the head sleeve.
7. Mummy, you look like a sponge.*
8. The Queen is a statue and you put money in her pot and she moves…and dances!
9. Pretend the hair cutter slipped and cut bears feet off (what?) then we can sew them back on tomorrow.
10. Your neck is all wobbly like jelly.*

*Essentially, I am a trifle.

Diva Wisdom 4

1. There must be somewhere else in England I could play.
2. I will have my dinner outside now (said with a dismissive wave of the hand).
3. When I am eight I will be like Mummy and Daddy.
4. I can speak French, “Bonjour, spaghetti!”
5. That is the deep end of the swimming pool and that is the shadow end.
6. When I have a poo poo they will be straight because I had chips.
7. (Whilst looking at a friend’s wedding picture) You’re lining up because it isn’t your turn to get married yet.
8. When I hurt myself at Nursery, Mrs. D gave me a cold princess to put on it (cold compress).
9. Daddy is good at wiggling the car. Mummy is good at putting things in the oven (notice how she didn’t say I was good at cooking).
10. Sometimes I can ride on a horse but they won’t let me ride on a chicken because they’re too little.

Apologies that it has been such a long time since my last post. I have lots of really good excuses, some of which are even true. Rest assured that there are still more tales of family life to come.

Diva Wisdom 3

1. Daddy is late because he is stuck in traffic lights. Someone needs to go and rescue him.
2. It’s not pineapple juice, it’s pine cone juice.
3. Here is your bra for your bogies.
4. No don’t turn the light off, turn the dark on.
5. If you are naughty the policeman will put you in the dungeon.
6. We can’t take Uncle M to the dinosaur museum, he will scare all the dinosaurs away.
7. It’s okay, my bruise will come off in the bath.
8. Bruiser is allowed to eat the people (I would clarify that she means toy people, but he also chews on real people too).
9. I do not have a good sleep in a shopping trolley, do I.
10. You can find the big, bad, worm by looking for big, bad, worm footprints (I dread to think).

Diva Wisdom Part 2

1. I can’t eat my lunch yet, it’s too cold. I need to wait for it to warm up.
2. My flower has melted like snow.
3. Go to bed, Daddy. You need to have a little lie down.
4. I did everything yesterday. Let’s do it again tomorrow.
5. Mummy: What time is it?
Diva: It’s 5 minutes.
6. (Measuring a wall with a tape measure) Hmm…this is 22 minutes long.
7. Bruiser likes me. He’s so cute.
8. I have made you a flower at Nursery, Mummy. Shhh…it’s a secret.
9. (On a cloudy day) The sun is getting in my eyes. You need to buy me some sunglasses, Mummy.
10. (To a little boy in the park). Come here, I want to show you something. Behind that cloud the moon is hiding.

Diva Wisdom

Diva is always uttering fantastic little gems of wisdom. She may only be two and eleven months but she definitely has her world sussed.

1. I can’t open my mouth to brush my teeth, my leg hurts.
2. Calm down Mummy (said after I asked her to stop jumping on the bed).
3. I can’t go in the river because I too little? (pause) I a bigger girl now, Mummy.
4. When I get littler I can play with the babies toys.
5. Daddy no have boobies.
6. People go in the people box and cars go in the car box.
7. When I a bigger girl I will be bigger.
8. I can’t balance without my skirt.
9. That moon is following me.
10. I like chocolate buttons. They are very nice…Can I have chocolate buttons?

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